mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
