ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
