I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
