i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
