Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
