The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
