do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
