I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
