If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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