Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
