i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
