Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
