that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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