Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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