i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
