I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
