I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
