i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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