Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
