TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Randomize
