You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
