It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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