i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
