does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
