i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You've changed since you got that strap on
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
