She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
