we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
