Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
