I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
