My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
