That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
