Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
