i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
