so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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