Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
