You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
