Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
