you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
