She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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