remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
