she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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