so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
