I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
then he tried to convert me to islam
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
