puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
