Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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