You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
