She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
