you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
