the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
