I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
