Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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