kristin has been a bad kristin
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
