I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
